Episode 03: All About That Bass

Published on April 2, 2018

Ol' Jack really needs to beef up the security on his electronic logbook. I opened it to make a journal entry and the damn thing was infested with squirrel porn. I tell ya, Vic is screwed in the head. He laughed his ass off when ol' Jack confronted him about it. The other prophets thought it was funny too. Hilarious. Her's a tip from ol' Jack when you got a buddy with a screw loose who's a bit to handy with a computer, you just do what ol' Jack did and threaten to bite the offender in some very uncomfortable places unless he fixes the shit.

Noon is too early for listenin' to Vic yak. Vic was yammering about creatin' a bunch of robot squirrels for information gathering purposes, which ol' Jack gets, but then the loon wants to create his own movement to "stop the squirrel invasion." The guy is certifiable. I think Doc should check out his leaky brainpan.

Breakfast was interrupted around noonish by one of Vic's friends. Don't people ever sleep? It's bad form to show up unannounced at chow time, especially when all of us were up until the wee hours of the morning getting rid of all the evidence from the warehouse job. The dame's name was Lizzy. She told us a sob story that five guys from an unknown gang were seen grabbing her kid sister and dragging her into any alleyway. Where they all vanished completely. Naturally Vic offered to help which means we offered to help. Way to volunteer us dude.  Well ol' Jack would have helped, but he was scheduled for a double and none of the other Prophets would trade him shifts.

Now don't take as gospel what ol' Jack is about to tell ya, because he wasn't there for any of it. Like I said, I got stuck pullin' a double at the Top Hat. I heard all this second hand from the rest of the Prophets and ol' Jack is pretty sure they laid in a copius amount of bullshit rebar to hold the story together.

They went to Tandum Street where the kidnappers were said to have taken Lizzy's sister from an alley between that deli that the Tandum Gangers hang at and some clothes shack across the way. They poked around a bit and hit nuthin but dead ends. They did find out that this new gang seems to be makin' waves in the Market, and were able to follow a kid sporting the gang's colors.

Ol' Jack is kinda glad he missed the next part. The prophets had to pass an ISS checkpoint, and ol' Jack probably would have set off all kinds of warning bells about what a dog boy was doin' in Firetown and out of uniform. Thank heaven for small favors. Vic was able to bullshit his way past the cop and avoid any Coalition entanglements.

The Prophets followed the kid to a place called Tillie's Night Club. Vic worked his magic, and hacked Tillie's system and set himself up as that evening's DJ and sent the DJ that was supposed to perform at Tillie's over to the Top Hat. The kid he sent over wasn't half bad. From what Vic said, he copped the playlist of another DJ, erased that DJ's ownership and set DJ Beastmaster (himself) up as the originator. What kind of symbol did Beastmaster choose? Yup, you guessed it - a damned squirrel.

Fer told me she managed to score a meet and greet with some of the gang members. Apparently, they weren't too hard to impress after she wowed their muscle with a glow stick. She and Doc fixed up the groupies with what they called "Old Spice" and gained the attention of the leader fo the crew, a fella by the name of "Dalt" who set up a drug deal to take place at the 11pm showing of "Long Live the Emperor" at the Sineplex near Prosek Towers.

Naturally Vic's DJ routine was just so he'd be close enough to hack the security feeds in Tillie's. Of course, the cameras in the VIP areas didn't have sound, but a bit of bad lip reading led them to find out about an abandoned warehouse where this gang makes their drops. What is it with warehouses?

After the show, the Prophets took a field trip to visit the warehouse. They locate a mass grave under some rubble, but no sign of Lizzy's sister, which ol' Jack guesses is a good thing considerin' all the bodies were emaciated and showing signs of some disease. Just hearin' that made ol' Jack wanna wash up. Doc took a few samples, and Vic called Lizzy to let her know they hadn't found Kat yet, but that we were working a lead.

Lemme tell ya, with ol' Jack on the case, he'd have sniffed out where the kid had been taken. We'd have likely found the girl already, waxed the bad guys that took her, and returned her to her sister. Just something to think about next time the rest of the Prophets' leave ol' Jack's cheese in the wind.